Sustainable Sunday

I’m excited and nervous about June. Excited, because this is an opportunity to live what I espouse, but nervous, because I’m not sure I can do it.

I quit my second job and my extra hours at my regular job are over. I may pick up some others covering for vacations etc, but basically I will have only the one paycheck, less than I’ve become use to. I’ll also have a lot more time to work in my yard, growing vegetables and more time for my writing and craft ventures.

It will mean tightening the belt, living on a strict budget, and trying to save at the same time. On paper it is possible, and it has been my desire!! I know I can do it, but I’m afraid it’s a lot like weight loss: difficult to get started, fraught with unknown pitfalls, but ultimately if I persist, I will learn soooo much about myself and life. It is also a trial run for retirement. Can I live within my budget without getting into debt? can I be disciplined enough to use what I’ve got, reuse, repurpose, make do, and find alternate ways to succeed?

I hope it will be a little like when I quilted at the ocean: I only had what I brought with me, and I became more creative with it so I could finish my quilts. It was very stimulating and exciting, but it was not my livelihood and I had the option to wait until I got home or to a store to get what I was missing. Now, I have no access to the ‘more’ I might need.

On the other hand it is a safe way to do this. I can always seek another job to supplement my income if it becomes necessary. We’ll have to wait and see. For now, I’m looking forward to the challenge.

Lynnette

Meditative Monday: where does it all go?

I have finally, just in the nick of time paid off the serger. It seemed to take for ever!, and focused there,  I missed other things I should have paid. But it is done and we now have 1 less bill to worry about.

I really don’t know why paying something off takes so long, when incurring the debt takes so little time! This is a big lesson for me. I’ve always been impatient with saving because of the slow pace. I keep looking at what I’ve saved and been disappointed. All that work and for what? Just this paltry amount.

I also always worry about a savings balance. So many forces can rob it: car transmissions that go, brakes, a roof or water heater, or medical bills. It seems that life eats it up, and I feel cheated. I wanted a trip or new clothes or a special dinner out. Instead I get something boring and necessary. Such a rip off!

Or is it? What I recognize is that paying cash does avoid unnecessary interest payments and so actually saves money. I also know that it is the paltriness of my savings that prevents me from having both the necessary and the optional. This year of spending down debt and trying to build savings is bound to be frustrating for me, but if I can persist, I think I will crest the hill and find it easier on the other side to stay out of debt and to have a few of the things I want as well.

I also recognize that although I’d love a trip to France or Greece or …., I will not be unhappy without it. It is just my inner whine that agitates for more, like a spoiled child, always wanting another treat, saying ‘I deserve it” . This is not the way to peace nor is it sustainable. It also robs me of the mystery, that wonderful experience of getting something special AND unexpected from the universe that delights my soul and nourishes deeply.

Perhaps just realizing how difficult it can be to achieve these goals by myself will lend me a more compassionate heart towards others who struggle. Perhaps it will open me to new delights, not imagined by my limited mind, and help me learn trust and rest in new ways.

And so the journey continues.

Lynnette

Sustainable Sunday

It has been very cold but this weekend is finally looking like spring. I am so glad. I spent a lot of yesterday outside, and will again today. My first run around the yard and garden is now done and I need to start over again. I made a tough decision yesterday to let the pea patch go. I was having a hard time keeping up with it and it showed. It’s time to let others have a turn.

That said, I will miss it. I’ve been part of this pea patch since it was created. I helped create it with my labor, clearing the lots and filling the raised beds. I got to know my neighbors there and will miss seeing them there on a summer’s evening when we all go down to water and relax.

This does simplify my life a lot, and that is important to me as well. I’ve done a couple of other small things to simplify my life as well. I decided not to volunteer for a couple of events I usually do, because it cut into my free days too much, leaving me tired and unenthusiastic for the rest of my week. I will most likely work on these events again in the future, just not now.

I made the decision to only buy black shoes. the vast majority of my wardrobe goes with black just fine and this does simplify my needs. In the past I would get both black and brown and sometimes other colors as well, but what I wear 4 out of 5 days are black shoes. This will save a few dollars as well, an added bonus.

So while I’ve not written much, I’ve still been thinking and working to find a sustainable life. How are you doing?

Lynnette

The Month that Was!

I’ve been working too much, couldn’t keep up with the blog or writing, or much else, but the end is in sight. They have hired a job share partner for me, and by the end of May I’ll be back to my part time status. I love my work, but I also love my off time as it is what feeds me emotionally, and is where I am most creatively.

In my search for organic meats, I had been patronizing a CSA type organization called Thundering Hooves. I loved their meat and the fact that the buying club I belong to is just up the street. In February they went out of business, another victim of our soft economic situation. I mourned deeply, and pictured myself confined to store bought meat. (I couldn’t quite get myself to go there!)

Then a new group took over their distribution, and bought up their inventory. I am ecstatic. I bought up a bunch of their breakfast sausage, my favorite, as well as some bacon and flat iron steak. I am SO grateful to have them in my life. Their web site is www.bluevalleymeats.com. Give them a look see.

I am diligently trying to work my way through the yard, cleaning and clearing weeds and all of winter’s debris. I am getting there! I have several large projects on my plate for this year: a black berry infested bed that I want to clear, the front boarder that is overgrown and very weedy which needs to be completely dug out and replanted, making a new vegetable bed in one back boarder, but I am pleased to have gotten so far by mid April.

And I learned that sometimes procrastination is a good thing. I had 3 bags of maple leaves my grandsons had gathered at my behest back in 2009. They needed shredding or composting, and I had never gotten to them. The other bags from that time got added to compost and worked in. When I took those 3 bags back, I discovered that they were already partially composted and were now a fine leaf mold, something my plants will really benefit form. I think this year I’ll do the some stock piling of leaves and let nature shred and compost them!

Today the weather is lovely, still cool, but sunny. I plan to be in the garden as long as my winter weary body allows. But first a trip to my local garden center for some compost – I don’t have quite enough to remake beds from my supply – and maybe a plant or two.

hope you all enjoy the sun too!

Lynnette

Sustainable Sunday: end of month and gardening reports

Last week I got out in the yard and started planting my plants I had started from seeds earlier in the month. I got all the cauliflower, broccoli and lettuce planted. I still have the onions and cabbage to plant out. It’s been very wet so difficult to complete the job. I did get all the strawberries and raspberries I ordered in the ground and cleaned a couple more beds in the vegetable garden so progress. It felt very good.

I also started my tomatoes indoors and they are all up and ready for thinning. They are such a promise of the future, and at times feel like a burden I must carry: one I mostly enjoy, but also a responsibility to the plants and to the future, my way to feed the environment and ourselves, but requiring a lot of effort on my part.

They are also a sign of Spring! one I need in the blustery wet days of March.

Year to Date Report:

Sometimes it feels like spinning my wheels, a fruitless task I’d rather forget about and give up on. Still it has value to mark my passing and note my seemingly persistent failures, yet if I look close I do see incremental improvement.

1- Buy nothing new: this month I bought batting and some sudoku books. Batting is one of those ify sort of purchases. I get a lot at the Goodwill, but when I run out I do but new to complete my projects. I did get it at 50% off though. I had nursed my sudoku books along for 2+ years and finally run out of ones I could do. It was time for the next year+ supply. Paid full price, but I do enjoy it a lot.

2-Save money, reduce waste, pay down debt: Saving is coming along very slowly, but that is because I am trying to pay down our debt. I am almost done with the serger bill: I have until May to finish it interest free and will likely complete it in April, thanks to an income tax return and more paid work which will end in June most likely. When that is gone, there is one other bill other than the house and I hope to cut it in half this year, and finish it by next year. I find I want to spend more money now that I make more and certainly did that on groceries, increasing that expenditure by $300 last month. I’m falling behind on the food waste, and garbage waste, probably due to working more and not having the time to do all I’d like to with what I buy.

3- Simplify my life: Well working more does not simplify anything I’ve noticed, but it does help with the bills! so a trade off.  Still I long for more rest, more down time, more free time. I feel rushed on my days off to get as much done as possible and the garden is calling me more and more, while my inside jobs and creating still are wanting my attention. I am a house divided.

4- Garden: that is off to a great start, but so so much to do! and the weather is less than ideal for mucking in the dirt. Still I feel good about this beginning.

5- Create: had a hard time writing much this month. Did do some, but not as  before: too much work! All others coming slowly and lacking energy as I shift to the yard as my leisure time activity.

6- Exercise and lose weight: The fight goes on. I am exercising more, taking the dogs on longer walks, taking the bus more often, walking on my lunch hours. I did not make it to yoga, but I am doing weight watchers with some limited results. I have set in motion the process of eliminating all junk foods from my diet, of seeing them as unappetizing and tasteless. This is a long term goal I’ve had. The difficulty is in defining what exactly is a junk food. For starters, I’ve decided to eliminate all between meal usage of deserts, chips and pastries. That still allows for the occasional use in a meal. For example, tortilla chips. I do make some meals that include them and can not quite imagine never eating them at all. Still I don’t want to snack on them. Deserts such as cookies, cakes and pies also have a place as an occasional treat after a meal, but not regularly, certainly not daily. Other foods like candy, donuts and pastries, I find it hard to justify at all. It is still a work in progress and I will continue working on it.

So a mixed bag: some successes at the expense of other goals. Still I’m satisfied.

Lynnette

Storied Saturday

Spring (continued)

III

Rain, grey and cutting, slashes my cheeks, leaving my jacket tear streaked

as I hurry to my bus,

An expected monotony that grinds the spirit small,

Until, without warning, a patch of blue  streaming light erupts

through the canopy, leaving me dazed and hopeful.

VI

The lion of March thumps and bumps, shaking windows

and whistling around the house corner.

Trees, ever submissive, bend, kowtowing

only to spring upright, their strength hidden but alive.

 

Small gray birds shelter in the thickets behind my house.

They wait, bursting into song, calling the sun forth.

Clouds race like charioteers around the velodrome sky,

the sweat from their straining steeds, and tears of the losers

splatter the empty sidewalk.

 

I too shelter in my chair, burrowing deep,

my little dog dreaming on my lap

until I venture out at the smell of damp earth warming and smile.

Spring!

Fabulous food on Friday

Sorry about the break. I’ve been working a lot and husbanding my strength for that.

How has Weight watchers been going? Slowly, very slowly. It’;s never been easy for me, and now, older, it is even harder. But it is also a great puzzle, trying to find the right combination of food to taste good, leave me feeling full and not too deprived and not crazy with hunger or binging to compensate for too low a blood sugar. I may be getting it, at least a little.

The good news is that I’ve had a complete check up and I am totally healthy, no diabetes, heart disease etc. and my thyroid is fine.

I have found a few great recipes. and today I want to share one with you.

Grapefruit Avocado salad

2 grapefruit, cut in segments

2 apples thinly sliced

1c strawberries quartered

1/2 diced celery

1 small cucumber sliced

1-2 avocados diced

mixed greens

dressing

juice of 1 lime,

1/2 c low fat mayonese

poppy seedy

agave or sugar to taste 1T or so

 

combine all salad ingredients except greens. combine dressing ingredients and stir well. Pour over fruit and combine. Place on a bed of greens and top with roasted pecans or other nuts.

This is a to die for recipe!! enjoy!

Lynnette

Storied Saturday

Turnings

I

Cold, bone cracking Spring, full of  tinkling, groaning ice floes

refuses to be coaxed or cajoled into a smile.

We huddle, each sucking what distant warmth we can from hats and gloves,

collars up, shoulders scrunched together, darting as quickly as ice

allows  to the next doorway, car or bus.

 

My eyes are dulled with longing and my spirit sags in its icy cloak.

I have forgotten my seeds, now dead, their frozen husks cracked and spent.

I have forgotten how to walk without fear, trusting the earth to lift me up.

I have forgotten horizons and see only the bleak icy street before me.

 

My world is narrow:

this moment’s cold and struggle,

my slow step and grasping hand,

the hunt for safety and release in these dark streets, alone.

II

Blossoms of palest pink drift across the road and fly in flurries.

The sky is blanket soft and gray.

Trees with their first small swellings are tipped with hints of chartreuse and

burgandy.

The lake, a sheet stretched taut on the earth’s surface, waits

for the wind to muss the covers and thrash like a bad night’s

sleepless dreaming or a lover’s frenzy.

Me, I hug my breath to me, walking slowly,

drinking in these promises and

Imagine.

Fabulous Food on Friday

As I’ve mentioned before I struggle with weight loss. I definitely need to loose, but it has always been difficult for me. I’ve been trying Weight Watchers for the last 3 weeks. The first 2 were a real bust. Nothing seemed to happen. I was down a quarter of 1 pound, the equivalent of 2 cups of tea. Somehow I just couldn’t get excited about it.

But I’ve kept on at it. I promised I’d try for the total of 12 weeks my initial commitment was for. I’m hoping this week is better. We’ll see on Monday. My home scale which I never quite believe ways I’m down. Of course this is the weekend and a time when I can really blow it. But I am trying. And I am exercising, walking most days. With luck today I’ll get in the yard for a while.

I’ve also seen the ugly side of myself, petty, whiny, pouting, and angry. When i heard that 2 weeks of cutting intake had resulted in nothing I could not even bare to hear about others’ successes.  I made an excuse to leave. It brings up such negative feelings of failure, and frustration. I just wanted to cry.

But I am determined to try, and I really want to do it using whole close to the source foods, not prepackaged, premixed things. I want to do it with real foods. I’m on the hunt for wonderful recipes using whole ingredients and having vibrant fresh flavors. Here’s one of them:

Quinoa with roasted tomatoes, kale and goat cheese

Cherry tomatoes, halved and slow roasted with garlic, and salt

1c cooked quinoa, black is more colorful

1 shallot or onion sauteed until golden

2 cups of kale with ribs removed and torn into small pieces

1 cup or fresh or frozen corn

1/4c parsley or cilentro or basil, chopped

juice of 1/2 lemon or lime (with cilentro)

2 OZ of goat cheese, fresh motzarella, or other soft cheese

salt and pepper to taste

3 T pine nuts toasted

While quinoa is hot, mix in all the other ingredients and fluff until kale is wilted. Alternatively, combine kale and corn with onion or shallot in pan at end of cooking  to wilt and heat through. Add cheese and pine nuts last. This can be served either hot as a side dish or cold as a salad.

Enjoy!

Lynnette

Storied Saturday

Blessing

My door is open

And Eternity is walking through.

She wears her dancing clothes and little silver slippers,

Lilies in her hair, stars upon her lips and exploding suns in her eyes.

I swirl into her arms and

She shows me all the dance steps she learned from the galaxies

And how I vibrate in every cell and atom.

Her smile eclipses the sun

and her arms are tender as the night.

Her fingers strum my soul,

shaking loose every note of joy and sorrow

buried in my depths,

freeing my voice to sing.

And in my sleep, when the night wind batters

and trees bow, leaves dance, the waters rise in waves,

the barn owl hunts and coyote howls,

our lips meet.

Lynnette